22/06/3008

It was 37 Celsius degrees outside. Everything was on fire, a giant oven. Tarmac had been melted. I left foot print at every step.

A quiet Sunday in the hospital, most patients went home for the weekend. Shut door, low hung curtains separated the dome into a little hidden haven for us. Air conditioner puffed cold white breath cooling down the air.

Just the two of us. Danni got up from bed. We hugged each other. We danced to the quiet murmur rhythm from Danni.

It was confirmed that Danni would receive three more radiotherapy.

We learnt from the chief radio-oncologist that it wasn't unusual that one would still have 'dark shadows' on completing the maximum dose of radiotherapy. Only 40% of the patients are signed out with 'all clear'. However, what exactly these 'dark shadows' are is difficult to tell from MR images. It could be fibrous cells, it could be hibernated tumour cells, it could be inflammatory etc. Some ‘dark shadows’ may go away in three months time. Some may never. Some cancer survivor actually saw these shadows grew. Biopsy on them discovers that half of those grew ones are cancer cells.

Danni has three ‘dark shadows’. One of them was lymph node near mouth, which is ‘almost inaccessible’ for surgery. Others were neck lymph node, which is ‘more accessible’ for surgery. Danni would receive three more radiotherapy only to the near mouth lymph node. She has received the maximum dose of radiation. There was little else could be done, fearing the severe long term radiation diseases.

With over dose radiation, we could still only pray to see whether this dark shadow would go in next few months. It is not certain.

Now three months later, we still felt it surreal to come to term with the cancer and its treatment. It is a test too cruel for anyone, any young family to face up to. One would only find this sort of things in movies. Yet we don’t know if there would be a happy ending.

But what the hell, this moment was for only the two of us. And we dance to the music in our heads.