10/06/2008

The breakfast porridge was still laid around with high strength protein added when I arrived. It didn’t give a good signal.

Hiding my disappointment and anxiety, I gave Danni a hug. She is a brave girl as ever, and if she decided not to try it, there must be good reasons not to. And for the fact that she had added bean protein to it, I know she must have tried it.

Eating, drinking became so difficult that it had become a guilt to ask or encourage Danni to try anything. One has to be part of it to feel the pain she was suffering. She can’t eat, can’t drink, and can hardly speak. It is beyond words could described.

New housemates were moved in, making the ward more cosy and lively. It has been just the two of us last three days for the weekend and the traditional Duanwu Festival (端午节), a public holiday.

Luyi, looked healthy and fit, was back for her 5 years NPC remission. She had concern on a lump on the back. Although reports so far gave a bill of clean. The bone scan has a mention on it, but saying it isn’t ‘tumour oriented’. Luyi was waiting for her MRI and Ultrasound scans.

Understandable, this gave Danni more negative food of thoughts. But this is a logical chasm. The only ones one would see are those have or may have problem giving the context of in a tumour hospital.

Huifeng, a sweet and innocent young girl, 25, was in for a muscle tumour in one of the legs.

I tried to remember even minute of last two hours that Ryan had been with me to tell Danni.

‘You know he developed this nappy rash. Mum striped him naked with only a vest and let him crawl around freely?’ (To Ryan, I am really sorry to let the others had their thought run wild.)
Danni nodded.
‘We had this 20 minutes schedule to take him to sit on toilet every 20 minutes. And guarantee some yield every time. And he is very cooperative.’
Danni smiled.
‘Ryan pushed the baby walker forward with knees moving, chest up. But seemed not very comfortable and he lost the interests very soon.’
Danni smiled.
‘Ryan crawled out from the bedroom and climbed upstairs. He wanted me to hold his arms so he could be lazy to use his legs only. I didn’t buy in to it. He has to exercise the arms on getting up every step. He seemed very contented, screaming cheering at every move.’
Danni smiled and wrote more questions.

Later she attempted a few bicycle crunch and legs extended exercise in bed. She protested that I press her legs too much. She wrote on the notepad, ‘I am weak, I haven’t been eating, not a dot of rice all day.’


Had a chat with Dr. Li, seemed that Danni wasn’t likely to have radiotherapy tomorrow because of the Radiation Stomatitis. She would only have to endure 5 more.

It was raining outside. It always rained after a baking morning and scotching afternoon. The rain brought cool breeze and fresh smell from the magnolia trees. I walked through the hospital through the dark leafy avenue. A security guard sit by the entrance barrier. He was probably drifting away in the dark.

Two lads coughing by the shelter looked out to the direction where buses were coming stop. Both spiky hair, one bare chest, the other in short pants. They made fun to each other, pushed each other, though voice were diluted in the rain.

Suddenly short pants pull out something from his pocket. Two lollipops, one each. And both started sucking jolly.

How nice was that? If this was in rough area like Elephant & Castle of London or Small Health of Birmingham (that did happened to Danni and I), I would be very worrying they may pull out a knife and come up to me. What I was going to give them? A flask of unconsumed soup and porridge? That would be very embarrassed. I almost feel like to thank them for sucking lollipops.

As soon as their bus came and left, a small figure emerged from the dark. He has a carry bag to one shoulder, also had some posters to the hand. He walked close to a tree nearby, using the other hand swiftly painted some glue and pasted a poster to it. Then he moved to the next tree, repeated it. Like a dog leaving urine at every tree.

The poster reads ‘Hotel now hiring male and female PR executive…high pay…’ Giving the context, one would immediately smell something fishy in it. ‘PR’ should read ‘escort’.

Boarded my bus, I am contented with my analogy and knowing the fact that first thing tomorrow morning, street cleaner will scrap off every poster from the trees until they come back again.